Pean’s Adventures in the Big City

Though I’m not sure of her abilities in that department (the whole canoe thing being an uncertainty), I am confident of her abilities on the track.  Cheers to K this weekend, may she run her 3K swift and graceful as always.  Fingers crossed and big love. 

Sincerely,

Your anti-nationals team captain.  :)

P.S. I’ll get back to you on the canoe thing—once I locate a Canadian (I can think of one who frequents my path in particular haha, and no it’s not K so minds out of the gutter please)

A five mile run in this…

Makes you feel like this…

Pean. Defeated.

That’s right, the weather kicked my A%s…

-Pean!

Here’s to Marilyn and the Ferrari/Maserati of Long Island family….HAHA.  I felt the need to mark this occasion, as well as the day I decided to take yet another leap—only from a higher cliff this time.

I’ll let you know if the net appears….

….it’s true, I have made no New Years resolutions once again.  I think since I am always in an active state of “reinventing” myself (similar to Madonna, sans the cone-shaped leather bras/whips and chains), and trying to decide what I can offer to our tiny world in the vast expanse of what is called the universe, it’s almost pointless in taking it one step further.  I think resolutions should be reserved for those whom personal reflection is an infrequent occurrence, and while I am slightly (only slightly) jealous of these individuals—they appear to live life carefree, concerned only with the present—I take comfort in the fact that I tend to reflect on a regular basis. For example, I gave serious contemplation to the following:

1.   I recently decided that I’m going to pay more attention to my adventurous side, i.e. when a friend needs you to help him run 135 miles through Death Valley, you think to yourself, “What the f%$k is he thinking? Will I have to buy 12 pairs of asics b/c they all melt on the road, too?  Should I have him committed? Will I have to ride a bike? Will the tires melt? Worse, does he expect me to run a leg of it, and if so, does that mean I have to sit in a sauna as ‘training’ as well?  FInally, should I just go and make the best of it, even though the idea scares me shitless?”  The answer here, friends, is a definitive “Yes.”  Just say “yes” to your crazy friends—support them in all of their ridiculous, yet incredible endeavors, for there is a reason they are in your life and there is certainly a common thread that brought you together in the first place. 

2. I’m going to spend more time out west, and give serious consideration to actually relocating there for a few years—can’t be bad for training, plus Katrina will be there by then to dominate the altitude of course :)  

3. I decided to cut all (well only eat foods w/ 3% or less) saturated fat and refined sugar from my diet—that’s right, candy has to go, and the annual revenue at Dylan’s Candy Bar will be $22,000 less this year b/c of it. 

Note: this does not include Hot Tamales

4. I am filling any free time I have around med school applications and running, with extra volunteer work.  I realized that just raising money for a charity is a convenient, yet passive form of “involvement.”  For it isn’t until you get “in there” with those who need assistance, that you feel as if you’ve made a dent in this world, however big or small (afterall, a small dent is still a dent nonetheless) it may be.  It’s fulfilling to reflect upon a day, a week, or a year and feel like you’ve actually made a difference, or at the very least tried to.  Afterall, the unexamined life is not worth living, is it not?  Well some say “yes” and some say “wtf, no way!”  That’s all I’m going to say on this topic. 

5.  I am going to surround myself with people whose goals and aspirations align with my own—whether it be running, working, or trying to save the world one person at a time.  I will not waste my time on shallow or phony individuals, whose best quality is their superficiality.  I find that initially they appear to be something of value, but truly lack any substance when put to the test, or when you probe the depths of their personality only to realize that you settled.  I noticed that women my age, myself included, have a penchant for attracting men of this nature, and then we are stuck trying to figure out how to free oursleves of the situation.  Let me tell you, it can get ugly, sometimes you even have to pull the “emotional trainwreck” act to deliberately scare them off.  That’s no fun for anyone involved, especially when Oscars aren’t going around for best performance at a break-up.  I am going to be the more wary of this going forward, that and dating anyone who has another woman in their life they secretly salivate/wet their pants over at just the mention of her name. Gross!

That’s all for now.  If it doesn’t make sense, I’m not sure what to tell you.  Sammy told me that I needed to update, and let me address this by reiterating that I already was experiencing blogger burnout the first day.  This is pretty good for me! I thought I’d only update once a year or something, so keep your panties tight, Sammy.  Pean is a big girl with a job, and countless miles to rack up each week in this death row weather (does anyone else feel like their legs weigh about 100 lbs. each when they’re out for a run?  No? Mine do.  Makes for some “fast” workouts, let me tell you).  Finally, an update from Winnipeg: Dont move there. You’ll be cross country skiing instead of cross country running (my poor k! for the greater good though, remember that when you’re a medical professional helping others!!)

One more thing:

Watch this deranged video. Now, I am rather open-minded towards other cultures, but this is so ridiculous…and weird:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Cl-h-S-IH0

Remember this video when you’re running through Central Park in the cold and then have to sit in an ambulance for frostbite of the hands (yes, that would be me on New Years Eve…thank god my man was there haha!), while countless idiots in costume run by….

Happy 2009!

Love, Micro Pean

My mind has been occupied with studying, and trying to conceive of a way to make it through the winter without losing my mind.  So, in lieu of running (b/c it seems that this week, it was next to impossible on some days due to snow), I have taken to baking—martha stewart, 1950s housewife style. 

Incidentally, about half-way through this process it dawned on me: “The best kind of man a girl can have, is the one she bakes, and then dresses in buttercream icing.”  If they reach beast status, you can eat them. Done. 

busy busy…back in the park today for a long run barring any slippage. 

Peace,

pean

If I could have written and directed a music video myself, this is EXACTLY what it would be like:

Chris Dane Owens: \”Shine On Me\”

Be sure to watch it all the way through, because just when you think it can’t get any better—IT DOES.  If you haven’t changed your life, this video will….trust me.

On another note: I have an important announcement regarding marathon running: Boston will be my last marathon until further notice.  I will return to race (and he means race) the NYC marathon in 2010 after I “sharpen my skill set.”  I will say no more on this issue, b/c BT told me that reading a post about running is about as entertaining as the old WD—in other words, she’d rather wear a terrycloth jumpsuit to a Van Halen concert (what?).

peace,

pean

This will be one of my few “running” related entries, but I wanted to bring this issue back from the dead for a petite minute.  The mother of a good friend of mine (the lovely miss J) said this to me right before the marathon, and at the time I didn’t believe her.  I thought, “Nooo that’s not true”, as I threw my head back laughing.  Yes, runners will exert themselves to the point of exhaustion, and yes ”apparently we just run, without stopping for an extended period of time”, but how could they all  be les miserable??  I found this theory intriguing, and I was determined to prove her wrong.  Last night, I finally remembered to do so.  Here’s the deal: usually when I run, I like to draft off of people in front of me and try to pass them—I am fairly successful at it, with the exception of the usual suspects who always pass me, then call me later to tell me about it—the point is, I like to keep distracted.  I didn’t run far, but 2 miles into my run the idea popped into my head to count how many frowns/grimaces I saw on runners opposing the direction I was running in.  I used a scale of 1-5 though, since there are varying degrees of “unhappiness”, so here was the breakdown:

1-Content (slight smile, focused)

2-relaxed, but serious brow

3-Clenching teeth, eyebrows fixed to misery mode

4-Clenched teeth, misery mode, crazy eyes (you know, CRAZY)

5-Verge of tears, heavy panting—like someone fired a round of bullets into their body

***Note:I should add that if there was visible sweat/blood and/or any clue indicating an injury I immediately rounded them one level higher—no one is happy running injured, I don’t care who they are.  I also did not grade people on the cat hill or harlem hill at this time, b/c no one’s dressed in their “sunday best” there either.

I counted more individuals who were a level 4 than anything else.  Everyone looked miserable!  Was it the weather?  Were they going through emotional turmoil?  Do they not do their lifting and conditioning to supplement their training? How far had they run?  How far would they run?  Were they running hard?  What do I look like when I’m running hard? It was at this point that I realized J’s mom was right!  No one looks happy when they’re running, and the truth is they’re probably in pain!  In recent weeks, I have learned that to run well, I have to feel like I’m knocking on death’s door during the workout, and then my body returns to its regularly scheduled programming afterward.  I am certain this is what all those other runners are experiencing…that as soon as the hard running starts, you want it to end.  I am trying to remain upbeat and motivated during the winter months, but some nights it just sucks out there!! Especially when the wind chill factors in, because by the time I am actually warm enough to run (like 6 miles in, mind you), the damn workout is nearly over!!  I refuse to wear spandex as well, and I’m sure that’s part of my problem; however, I am stubborn and therefore little can be done to rectify that “situation.”  I will simply chalk up my running 45 miles a week half-naked to good preparation for boston training.  A quick note: the training plan that has been so graciously put together for me is f’ing insane, and no one will see me for approximately 3 months.  If you want to see me, send up a smoke signal and wait 3-5 days for a response, or just send liquor, b/c right after that I start applying to medical school—the fun never ends!!!!!!  Anyway….the point of my rambling is that J’s mom was right about everything, except one thing: being constipated. 

Now, anyone who runs knows it’s quite the contrary, and I assure you, there are no grimaces where that is concerned.  It’s a favorite past time of this community, and we go whenever nature calls—most likely in a secluded area like the one I’ve depicted below from the park.  I don’t know about you people, but I’m always stoked (so is KJB, my fearless leader in the dept.) and thinking, “Alright, let’s go hit some trees.”  Okay, I’m DONE! I’M OUT!!

Peace,

Steph

While I’m not going to sit here and talk about “true love” (a concept I find to be neither realistic, nor enticing) for hours on end like a giddy school girl, I did hear someone utter this phrase on the subway the other day to one of her girlfriends.  They were discussing a recent break-up, or overanalyzing a man’s behavior (there’s just no point, b/c there is no logic to a man’s behavior, other than plain selfishness 65% of the time), you know, “Why didn’t he call?” followed by a plethora of excuses fabricated by her best friend in order to justify the boy’s bad behavior.  I have never believed in such a concept, I mean sure it’s nice to think about, but it’s also a dangerous way to think about relationships.  Does that mean if you never date anyone you consider to be your “true love”, you are destined to lead a life of solitude?  Scary!  Another thought that crossed my mind was, “Why do women waste so many thoughts over trying to figure out what a dude is thinking?”  I admit, I too, have been guilty of such things; however, it’s especially painful to witness when the girl is clearly beautiful and leads a very successful life.  I know what he’s thinking, “He’s thinking about Monday night football with his friends, and should ladies happen to be present, then so be it.”  Done!  I wanted to slap the friend—yes, she thinks she’s doing good by her friend—providing the girl with many potential excuses, but all she is doing is prolonging the inevitable, and making her friend crazier than she already was!!  It’s all a vicious cycle, don’t you see?  My advice to anyone who’s been there for a friend, who’s told them, “NO it’s not you…it was the WD–that’s why his performance was sub-par,” who has been that shoulder to cry on: SHUT UP. JUST SHUT UP, GIVE THEM A HUG. TELL THEM TO GO FOR A RUN (EVEN IF THEY HATE THE IDEA). TELL THEM TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR SO THEY CAN SEE…SEE THAT THERE’S NOTHING TO CRY OVER. TELL THEM TO HAVE A DRINK, BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON’T TELL THEM WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR.

Naturally, this realization did not come to me on the subway, or I would have said something.  Actually, I would have asked for the boy’s address, and then popped up at his house, just so I could punch him in the face for taking away 10 minutes of my life that I will never get back.  No, I went home and fell asleep (contemplating whether or not to run, b/c it seems as if that’s all I ever do anymore).  I slept for probably an hour, then I woke up and said, “Stephanie what are you doing with your life, don’t be lazy.” I went running.  So, on my run I ran into my friend, and it was in our conversation that I had all of these thoughts flying through my head.  The problem is, when you witness an interaction like the one I did on the subway, it has a fantastic way of making you reflect on your own behavior.  In this case, it also allowed my friend to reflect on his behavior, and we did anything but pat each other on the back.  He told me what I have been guilty of, and I enlightened him on what I observed in his behavior in our 3 years (we’ll make it to our golden!) of friendship.  At some point though, we were coming out of Central Park towards Fifth Avenue—the streets were illuminated for the holidays, and full of people—I thought to myself, “Why the hell would you ever need anything when you have this? Why would you ever waste one day caring about someone who was too blind to see who you are, and what you have to give?”  I found my true love, a very long time ago, it doesn’t come in a box and it can’t give me a hug, but no matter what happens to me—bad or good—at least I’m in NY, at least I have wonderful friends, at least I have two legs to run in my favorite place, at least I am here….at the very least.

See? Some f-ed up stuff goes through your head when you go running in the park at night with someone who runs so fast, that you feel like death would be a better option than to stay with them. (love youuu)